I actually hated reading this book. It’s so entirely sickening and vile. He was so thorough with what he was saying about the women and men he was hurting and in the way he was hurting them. He was also incredibly descriptive about the four people pretty much in charge of the whole operation they were having. Like I’m sorry but I don’t want to know how big someone’s penis is and not just that but how big it is soft and erected. The whole thing just made me extremely uncomfortable. coming from a psychological standpoint though I am slightly interested why and how he thinks the way he does. Interviewing him and hearing his standpoints on the things he writes about would be so wild. I low-key wish there was some sort of documentary about him that I could watch, like how there is with ted Bundy. I honestly would be worried for anyone who found this read enjoyable and fulfilling, please seek some kind of help or therapy. The most gut wrenching part about this was when he would trade lives for rape. Reading about how he wanted to rape a girl in trade for her dad’s life was actually so sad and disturbing. He objectifies woman in every kind of way possible. Talking about how perfect some girls are because of their bodies and cleanliness to talking about how one of the girls was imperfect because of how wide her mouth was compared to the thinness of her lips. He’s genuinely analyzing these girls with no kind of remorse and he gets off on how valuable they’re and the pain that he causes to them and the people around him. I think he hates the church so much that he wanted to see why priests and pastors do the things they do to little kids. He is proving a point that you have to be so entirely sick to not only take part in these actions and what some would say as well as himself rituals but also planing it out to perfection in not getting caught.