By: Charlie Buckreis

When Swift wrote this proposal Ireland was facing a large influx of Catholic immigrants, many of whom were poor. As a result, they ended up begging for money and food, which the majority of the Irish people disliked. Additionally, Ireland was predominantly Protestant, so being Catholic didn’t help the immigrants’ case. Being Catholic, most families had multiple children, so it was a fairly common sight to see a poor mother wandering the streets, begging for food, followed by an entourage of her children. These children mostly grew up to be beggars, thieves, warriors for Spain, or slaves in the Barbados, all of which were less than ideal fates. Additionally, Ireland does not have the resources to sustain this increasing population. Swift, seeing all of this, has a brilliant idea. Ireland needs to find a way to reduce the population and increase the amount of resources available to residents. So Swift looks to the Catholic immigrants, people who presently consume resources but do not give any in return and who will not be benefiting Ireland in the future, and considers whether they might be a solution. Calves and piglets have two fates: death for food, or being raised to eventually be killed for food. Swift realizes that the children cannot be kept alive and used later, because they would end up consuming more resources than they would produce. But a newborn only consumes a couple of shillings worth of resources in a year, and after a few years they would produce around ten shillings worth of resources. So Swift puts together a proposal outlining a plan that solves the overpopulation crisis and reduces the number of Catholics, provides an income stream for Ireland, benefits rich and poor Irishmen alike, decreases the number of abortions and cases of domestic abuse, and makes poor families more able to get jobs (which would in turn boost Ireland’s economy even more). The proposal is short, only about seven pages, succinct, and well-reasoned, with statistics and figures given to prove Swift’s points. All-in-all, a wonderful proposal.

For legal reasons, I must state that I am fully aware that Swift’s proposal is satire, that my response is meant as a joke, and that I do not agree with nor do I support the murder and consumption of other human beings. His reasoning is sound, but the proposal is completely unethical and it, nor anything similar, should ever be implemented.